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Thursday, April 3
Concluded today that since Nick is vampire, he uses VSPF3000 Coppertone Babies sunblock lotion.
Today in French we discuss Baudelaire. Yay. National Poetry Month, doncha know.
had interesting discussion on bus with Kevin Lin on the rights and wrongs of sex, if being naked is a sin, if magnets have been involved in sex and drugs, etc.
dammit who the hell keeps calling? *gets up*
yar so another late night of homework. Just one more week, I tell myself. One more week. Although spring break is not really a break since I have to study for APs and SATs and my theory tests and such. Bleh.
pan chan conversed with the birds at 7:33 PM *******Wednesday, April 2
Red:
Aren't you the romantic? Life is poetic. If you
don't already, write poetry, you're good at it.
What color do you see the world in?
brought to you by Quizilla
Interesting. Was actually expecting to get pink. Red is nice though.
pan chan conversed with the birds at 9:35 PM *******
Mmm a pretty uneventful day. Mr. Walstein had some interesting comments, supplemented with Dan Ku's -- that all teenage guys are horny and desperate for sex. Don't people say that guys think about sex every 7 seconds? I bet at least 9 out of 10 guys think about this. Yea, make good friends with a girl cuz you're desperate for a relationship and/or sex. Or, if you're a not normal guy, become emotionally dependent on someone for support cuz you're desperate for a relationship and/or sex. You have to have a girlfriend just for the sake of having one; any girl that accepts will do just fine for you. Preferably she's got a nice rack or whatever favorable characteristic but when you've only got a limited pool to choose from, you've got to adjust your standards. She might as well be a prostitute for all you care, as long as you need her then it's all cool. Look to her to vent all your problems on, to abuse, to use. She's not human; she can fulfill all your needs. Hell, she might not even love you at all but you "love" her and that's all that matters to you because you're a selfish sex-crazed guy and you just want her for yourself, yourself, yourself, and you don't give a damn what she thinks. And you're probably deluding yourself into thinking that you love her for her brains and such but if you change her looks or change her race or whatever preferential bias you have, she'd be a total stranger.
Whereas a girl does not make friends for the sex. She does not go into a relationship fixated on sex. When a girl is friends with a guy, it is for friendly camaderie, not trying to intensify it so that it gets to the point of French kissing in the corridors. Hell, I've never kissed a guy or had a relationship that lasted for more than 2 months, and do you see me deprecating myself as a loser? You see me sticking my head in the sand? Damn, I'm proud to be like this, whereas you are ashamed.
Apologies to my male readers; no offense, it's a generic audience, not intended at you guys ^_^;
David, that's an AWESOME April Fool's joke.
pan chan conversed with the birds at 4:57 PM *******Tuesday, April 1
Dude Mrs. Palmer's outside walking with her grandson. Ooop look like she's going inside now. Nope. looks like she's putting Joseph on the swing? Or demoing it? Don't you wish you had opportunities like this to suck up but you know I don't know what to say -- "your grandson's cute *silence*" Oh now she's going in. Or not. You'd think that if you go up to the door, you don't turn around and put down the kid again ^_^;
pan chan conversed with the birds at 5:06 PM *******
Hmm. "Sorry, publishing is temporarily unavailable." Ok, fine by me.
The problem with my composition is that I want to elaborate on some part of it, but then in the process I get carried away and it develops into a completely different phrase. Whooops.
I wonder how many juniors went to Magiannos?
Tomorrow is even. Yuck. Mme Loomis wants us to go to her house during spring break for AP cramming. As Matt Baron says, "that's hardcore."
Mrs. Palmer wants me to redo my Addie essay -- it has "A ideas" but bad organization. In other words, it sucks and there's a bat's chance in hell I'm getting an A this quarter -_- Man I hate English. Doesn't apply to this essay, but seriously what's the value in writing essays about "yes this author uses a metaphor in line 5 which conveys his message of how chickens make tasty food". I mean, I dunno, but seems a little overanalyzing to me -- wouldn't a real author just write what the hell sounded good? Instead of thinking about "oh dude I should use an alliteration here and a put this dash mark here"? Wah.
Ok am going to sleep now. Don't really need it, but hey.
pan chan conversed with the birds at 2:21 PM *******Monday, March 31
last night had a less clear dream, involved dungeons, the dark lord, Sam from LOTR being addicted to the Ring, a ruler who planned to use elephants as a ride because they were "five times the height of a normal man with impenetrable hide", and...elephants. Yessum.
am almost done with front view of battling Illudeth. Am also proceeding along on me composition, which currently consists only of a melody but it's nice so nyeh.
Am cold and tired. *yawn* Dunno why.
pan chan conversed with the birds at 4:40 PM *******Sunday, March 30
All-American Rejects are WONDERFUL. I thought it was just Swing Swing, but turns out it's all BEAUTIFUL. And I want to see the Ataris at 9:30 club! Whee punk! And now, to redirect you *subtle* to my Amazon wish list! XD
Had an "interesting" dream last night. Apparently I was involved in a war, between one side of the parking lot and the other...me and some people were ducking under a car, waiting tensely...I threw something like toilet paper to the other side, and they threw some nasty stuff back and came over and threatened to beat us up and they were back so we conceded...Mr. Moose was there, and we trooped to this huge, ornate baroque beautiful house where we followed him on twisting and delicate staircases inside and into the house and through many corridors past many rooms and doors, even saw Mr. Walstein sitting down with a gargantuan cake that was completely covered in pure whipped cream although he was able to pick up the whipped cream rosebuds, which were about the size of his hand, like they were solid. Followed Mr. Moose to a door, where he told us to wait, apparently previously he had been married to a beautiful Mongolian (or Cambodian? must be from reading Mismeasure of Man) lady but her father had been really opposed to the match and there were still some things to settle between them. He told us to wait outside and we waited outside and on the wall were posted some small pictures of a beautiful Asian lady which I assumed to be the one involved. So we waited and he came out and told us to find some ice cream and I said that there were some in the trunk of the car, so he sends us on that errand. We are completely lost in the house and make our way by accident to a large lart gallery which was done by some evil devil lady. The paintings were huge and had all these decieving illusions like one had a bunch of green serpent/lizards on it in different shades but when you look at it on a whole it became blue. Anyway we got scared at one point that the devil lady was going to get us so we left and finally found our way out of the house through a different door. Looked back up at house and saw a shadow of the beautiful lady passing by the window in a room with lacy curtains high high up. Went to the car, opened the trunk, and rummaged around, but the only cones we could find were all moldy. And then these two hoodlums came by and wanted to steal the stuff in the trunk although I didn't understand why they wanted moldy ice cream cones but anyway we got in a fight and we're beating the crap out of each other while the trunk is gaping wide open and the car is vulnerable and then Price comes by and we beseech him to help in our cause but he's just standing there with a "what?" expression on his face.
Turns out that the calligraphy teachers got the deadline wrong and i spent all that time for NOTHING. Though sucks more to be Christine cuz she started last night and fell asleep with the brush in her hand o_O talk about hardworking. Anyway so Chao yeh yeh gives us a long lecture about how to do well in calligraphy through practice and self-evaluation and near the end, he says that there's a difference between me and Christine -- he points at Christine and says, "Ni de dan zi tai shao" (you have no guts) and then he points at me and says "ni de dan zi tai da" (I have too much guts). And I'm just inwardly lmao because that must be the first time anyone has ever said that I have guts. XDDD
So yea still have shitload of hw to do which i better do so ja.
pan chan conversed with the birds at 6:23 PM *******
bleh the final draft of my calligraphy BLOWS CHUNKS. Well some of it looks nice. Some of it doesn't. Hopefully will have chance to redo it at class so Chao yeh yeh can look at it and tell me how crappy it is.
For some reason must write a blurb for the Chinese school yearbook.
Yay check out that snow! unfortunately not accumulating. Feh.
pan chan conversed with the birds at 12:01 PM *******Saturday, March 29
John = asshole. Asshoooooole. Aaaaaaasshole. *simmers*
pan chan conversed with the birds at 11:36 PM *******
rescind comment "is quite cute, by magnet standards." Change to, "is cute, period." XD Not hot, though maybe if he got a little older he would be, but if you know Alex then he will only stay at "cute" stage. Must somehow transfer him from PG County Roosevelt magnet to Blair magnet. Then up 2 grades into 11th grade so I can stare at him all day. Yay for eye candy.
All in all not a bad day, actually. But now must get back to French, and tomorrow morning must be spent on calligraphy. But I did find real rice paper.
pan chan conversed with the birds at 10:30 PM *******
didn't do so badly, i suppose -- a lot better than i expected although maybe it's because i had a really lenient judge who kept giving me tips on my arpeggios. nice southern lady. nice nice. alex arrived shortly after i did -- and man has he changed. into a man actually haha. i see him a couple of times a year, usually around now for the spring tests, and high school works wonders, apparently. he's a year younger than me, i think? making him a freshman? and anyway he grew about a foot, voice went down an octave, and is quite cute, by magnet standards. hurrah for half chinese guys. yea ok i'm sad. though he seems still softspoken and shy.
pan chan conversed with the birds at 5:07 PM *******
in better spirits, although i could be just resigned to my fate. i still have dark rings and my eyes are still swollen so my suang yen pi is only half slit but it looks pretty funny. have decided to go to keyboard test but if the judge implies that i'm a lazy bum i'm going to say "fuck you" and leave.
in other news was eric's birthday yesterday so now he can buy booze whenever he wants. yay.
am going to eat breakfast now and then do french project on senegalese music and clothing because i can't practice since mom is still sleeping because she was up all night as usual watching her god-awful asian soaps. good god the senegalese riiti violin thing sounds atrocious.
pan chan conversed with the birds at 7:35 AM *******Friday, March 28
so apparently i have a keyboard test tomorrow for which i am not prepared at all but which she is pressuring for me to go to anyway because i just need some fucking points but i don't want to go to this fucking test because what's the point because i did not know it was tomorrow and i will fail miserably so what's the point of going because i don't practice and i hate tehse fucking tests all for a fucking plaque which doesn't mean a damn thing for college even though she insists it does because half the applicants to harvard or what ivy have you have a damn award like this and they don't give a damn about a fucking plaque because it means nothing and if you go to another school like duke they don't really give a shit about what awards you ahve because your academics qualify and so why the hell am i wasting three hours in bowie doing a damn test which i will score low anyway while i have a billion more important things to do like projects that are due monday and then the teacher says i have ear training practice tomorrow at seven and basically my whole fucking day is shot when i have so much work to do why am i wasting time on this shit and givng myself so much pain when i can't even get a damn a in english but she says what i have is probably good enough but isay it isn't and she says it is and i need this damn plaque why am i focusing on piano when i suck at it and it doesn't mean music it means preparing for stupid tests and stupid competitions why couldn't i have lessons in something i'm actually good at but no i have to be like every other fucking average chinese kid out there and play piano yeah can't you tell i'm breaking down my mind is frayed and broken into fragments and pulverized to a powder on the floor which i slip on and i break my neck and no matter how much i cry or scream or convulse or rake at my skin with my nails i can't make this shit go away so i might as well go back to bed and try to sleep again
pan chan conversed with the birds at 9:15 PM ******* |
